Dear Sir or Madam, will you read my book?

It took me years to write, will you take a look?

Based on a novel by a man named Lear

And I need a job, so I want to be a paperback writer,

Paperback writer.

Its the dirty story of a dirty man

And his clinging wife doesnt understand.

His son is working for the Daily Mail,

Its a steady job but he wants to be a paperback writer,

Paperback writer.

Paperback writer

Its a thousand pages, give or take a few,

Ill be writing more in a week or two.

I can make it longer if you like the style,

I can change it round and I want to be a paperback writer,

Paperback writer.

If you really like it you can have the rights,

It could make a million for you overnight.

If you must return it, you can send it here

But I need a break and I want to be a paperback writer,

Paperback writer.

Paperback writer

Paperback writer - paperback writer

Paperback writer - paperback writer