Don´t smoke don´t fight don´t light no cigarettes

Or else you´ll wind up in the can

No jokes no rights sit tight don´t fool around

You are a guest of Uncle Sam

Stand up look right don´t slouch and stand at ease

Allow no sex above the knees

When I snap you jump into the master plan

I´ll be damned

Well I´ll be damned

I´ll be damned if I drink or smoke

Damned if I steal your joke

I´ll be damned if I go for broke

Damned if I do

Damned if I don´t

Don´t talk don´t fool don´t try to mess around

I´ll make a monkey outta you

You sign your name right on that dotted line boy

I´ll be damned

I´ll be damned if I drink or smoke

Damned if I steal your joke

I´ll be damned if I go for broke

Damned if I do

And damned if I don´t

I´ll be damned if I drink or smoke

Damned if I steal your joke

I´ll be damned if I go for broke

I´m damned if I do

I´m damned if I don´t

I´ll be damned if I drink or smoke

Damned if I steal your