A Lot Of People Ask Me Stupid Fuckin Questions

A Lot Of People Think That What I Say On Records

Or What I Talk About On A Record That I Actually Do In Real Life

Or That I Believe In It

Or If I Say That I Wanna Kill Somebody That

I'm Actually Gonna Do It

Or That I Believe In It

Well Shit If You Believe That

Then I'll Kill You

You Know Why

Cuz I'm A

Criminal

Criminal

You God Damn Right

I'm A Criminal

Yeah I'm A Criminal

Eminem

My Words Are Like A Dagger With A Jagged Edge

That'll Stab You In The Head

Whether You're A Fag Or Lez

Or The Homosex Hermaph Or A Trans A Vest

Pants Or Dress Hate Fags The Answer's Yes

Homophobic Nah You're Just Heterophobic

Starin At My Jeans Watchin My Genitals Bulgin Ooh

That's My Motherfuckin Balls You'd Better Let Go Of Em

They Belong In My Scrotum You'll Never Get Hold Of Em

Hey It's Me Versace

Whoops Somebody Shot Me

And I Was Just Checkin The Mail

Get It Checkin The 'male'

How Many Records You Expectin To Sell

After Your Second Lp Sends You Directly To Jail

C'mon Relax Guy I Like Gay Men

Right Ken Give Me An Amen Aaa Men

Please Lord This Boy Needs Jesus

Heal This Child Help Us Destroy These Demons

Oh And Please Send Me A Brand New Car

And A Prostitute While My Wife's Sick In The Hospital

Preacher Preacher Fifth Grade Teacher

You Can't Reach Me My Mom Can't Neither

You Can't Teach Me A Goddamn Thing Cause

I Watch Tv And Comcast Cable

And You Ain't Able To Stop These Thoughts

You Can't Stop Me From Toppin These Charts

And You Can't Stop Me From Droppin Each March

With A Brand New Cd For These Fuckin Retards

Duhhh And To Think It's Just Little Ol' Me

Mr Don't Give A Fuck Still Won't Leave

Chorus Eminem Repeat 2x

I'm A Criminal

Cuz Every Time I Write A Rhyme These People Think It's A Crime

To Tell Em What's On My Mind I Guess I'm A Criminal

But I Don't Gotta Say A Word I Just Flip Em The Bird

And Keep Goin I Don't Take Shit From No One

I'm A Criminal

Cuz Every Time I Write A Rhyme These People Think It's A Crime

To Tell Em What's On My Mind I Guess I'm A Criminal

But I Don't Gotta Say A Word I Just Flip Em The Bird

And Keep Goin I Don't Take Shit From No One

Eminem

My Mother Did Drugs Tar Liquor Cigarettes And Speed

The Baby Came Out Disfigured Ligaments Indeed

It Was A Seed Who Would Grow Up Just As Crazy As She

Don't Dare Make Fun Of That Baby Cause That Baby Was Me

I'm A Criminal An Animal Caged Who Turned Crazed

But How The Fuck You Sposed To Grow Up When You Weren't Raised

So As I Got Older And I Got A Lot Taller

My Dick Shrunk Smaller But My Balls Got Larger

I Drink Malt Liquor To Fuck You Up Quicker

Than You'd Wanna Fuck Me Up For Sayin The Word

My Morals Went Thhbbpp When The President Got Oral

Sex In His Oval Office On Top Of His Desk

Off Of His Own Employee

Now Don't Ignore Me You Won't Avoid Me

You Can't Miss Me I'm White Blonde Haired

And My Nose Is Pointy

I'm The Bad Guy Who Makes Fun Of People That Die

In Plane Crashes And Laughs

As Long As It Ain't Happened To Him

Slim Shady I'm As Crazy As Em

Inem And Kim Combined Kch The Maniac's In

Replacin The Doctor Cause Dre Couldn't Make It Today

He's A Little Under The Weather So I'm Takin His Place

Mm Mm Mmm Oh That's Dre With An Ak To His Face

Don't Make Me Kill Him Too And Spray His Brains All Over The Place

I Told You Dre You Should've Kept That Thang Put Away

I Guess That'll Teach You Not To Let Me Play With It Eh

I'm A Criminal

Interlude Skit

Aight Look Uh Huh Just Go Up In That Motherfucker

Get The Motherfuckin Money And Get The Fuck Up Outta There

/Em Aight /I'll Be Right Here Waitin On You

Em Aight

Yo Em

Em What

Don't Kill Nobody This Time

Em Awwright God Damn Fuck

Whistling How You Doin'

Teller Hi How Can I Help You

Eminem Yeah I Need To Make A Withdrawl

Teller Okay

Eminem Put The Fuckin Money In The Bag Bitch

And I Won't Kill You

Teller What Oh My God Don't Kill Me

Eminem I'm Not Gonna Kill You Bitch Quit Lookin Around

Teller Don't Kill Me Please Don't Kill Me

Eminem I Said I'm Not Gonna Fuckin Kill You

Hurry The Fuck Up Boom Thank You

Eminem

Windows Tinted On My Ride When I Drive In It

So When I Rob A Bank Run Out And Just Dive In It

So I'll Be Disguised In It

And If Anybody Identifies The Guy In It

I'll Hide For Five Minutes

Come Back Shoot The Eyewitness

Fire At The Private Eye Hired To Pry In My Business

Die Bitches Bastards Brats Pets

This Puppy's Lucky I Didn't Blast His Ass Yet

If I Ever Gave A Fuck I'd Shave My Nuts

Tuck My Dick Inbetween My Legs And Cluck

You Motherfuckin Chickens Ain't Brave Enough

To Say The Stuff I Say So This Tape Is Shut

Shit Half The Shit I Say I Just Make It Up

To Make You Mad So Kiss My White Naked Ass

And If It's Not A Rapper That I Make It As

Bi'ma Be A Fuckin Rapist In A Jason Mask

Chorus 2x

I'm A Criminal

Cuz Every Time I Write A Rhyme These People Think It's A Crime

To Tell Em What's On My Mind I Guess I'm A Criminal

But I Don't Gotta Say A Word I Just Flip Em The Bird

And Keep Goin I Don't Take Shit From No One

I'm A Criminal

Cuz Every Time I Write A Rhyme These People Think It's A Crime

To Tell Em What's On My Mind I Guess I'm A Criminal

But I Don't Gotta Say A Word I Just Flip Em The Bird

And Keep Goin I Don't Take Shit From No One

I'm A Criminal

Cuz Every Time I Write A Rhyme These People Think It's A Crime

To Tell Em What's On My Mind I Guess I'm A Criminal

But I Don't Gotta Say A Word I Just Flip Em The Bird

And Keep Goin I Don't Take Shit From No One

I'm A Criminal

Cuz Every Time I Write A Rhyme These People Think It's A Crime

To Tell Em What's On My Mind I Guess I'm A Criminal

But I Don't Gotta Say A Word I Just Flip Em The Bird

And Keep Goin I Don't Take Shit From No One

I'm A Criminal