Whenever I see someone less fortunate than I

And let's face it who isn't less fortunate than I

My tender heart tends to start to bleed

And when someone needs a makeover

I simply have to take over

I know I know exactly what they need

And even in your case

Though it's the toughest case I've yet to face

Don't worry I'm determined to succeed

Follow my lead

And yes indeed you will be

Popular you're gonna be popular

I'll teach you the proper ploys

When you talk to boys

Little ways to flirt and flounce

I'll show you what shoes to wear

How to fix your hair

Everthing that really counts to be

Popular I'll help you be popular

You'll hang with the right cohorts

You'll be good at sports

Know the slang you've got to know

So let's start

You've got an awfully long way to go

Don't be offended by my frank analysis

Think of it as personality dialysis

Now that I've chosen to become a

Palasister and advisor

There's nobody wiser

Not when it comes to

Popular I know about popular

And with an assist from me

To be who you'll be

Instead of dreary who you were uh are

There's nothing that can stop you

From becoming popular lar

La la la la

We're gonna make you popular

When I see depressing creatures

With unprepossessing features

I remind them on their own behalf

To think of

Celebrated heads of state

Or specially great communicators

Did they have brains or knowledge

Don't make me laugh

They were Popular

Please it's all about popular

It's not about aptitude

It's the way you're viewed

So it's very shrewd to be

Very very popular like me

And though you protest

Your disinterest

I know clandestinly

You're gonna grin and bear it

You're new found popularity

La la la la

You'll be popular

Just not quite as popu