[00:00.44](Hello, Nickelodeon headquarters)
[00:02.30]Hi, sorry to disturb you this late in the night
[00:04.77]I have a serious inquiry directed toward Nickelodeon
[00:08.00]My question is :
[00:08.94]WHAT THE **** ARE YOU DOING?
[00:10.64]You know y'all used to have some fire b*****s
[00:13.21]When I turn on the TV I'm trying to see my favorite b*****s
[00:17.70]Zoey101?
[00:18.49]Jennette McCurdy?
[00:20.70]Oh my God
[00:22.69]And now all you got is these preteens
[00:24.92]Bruh, I'm not a pedo
[00:26.11]I'm not trying to look at these little kids and get aroused
[00:28.93]Now I can't watch Nickelodeon with my **** in my hand anymore
[00:32.12]Now I'm f****ng upset
[00:33.86]This is some f****ng bulls*it
[00:38.29]Dan Schneider
[00:40.58]Bring all my b*****s back
[00:42.86]I need all my b*****s, I need all my b*****s
[00:44.84]The new s*it you put out is wack
[00:47.39]Dan Schneider
[00:49.48]I'm just trying to get an erection
[00:51.30]But now that these kids looking 13 and under
[00:53.27]My ***** will suffer
[00:55.84]Dan f****ng Schneider (Schneider !)
[00:58.63]This ain't a f****ng game, *****
[01:01.00]I wanna watch a sitcom
[01:03.50]With my hand on my ****
[01:05.18]I wanna see a titty
[01:07.52]Not f****ng kid s*it
[01:10.20]Return all the hot chicks
[01:12.17]Or you gon get it *****
[01:14.47]iCarly, iCarly
[01:15.88]I don't care if you look like Michael Jackson
[01:18.82]As long as you giving me action
[01:21.10]And Freddy gon' film the reaction
[01:23.54]Sam gonna join in
[01:25.72]And suck me a fat one
[01:27.95]Nickelodeon girls
[01:30.43]Can't live without 'em
[01:31.46]Whew !
[01:32.69]Ariana Grande
[01:34.71]I know I drive a Hyundai
[01:37.10]I can put you in a coma
[01:39.22]Have brunch on a Sunday (fancy)
[01:41.47]My **** put you in a coffin
[01:43.34]All night screaming and tossing
[01:46.18]Victoria Justice
[01:48.32]I know you tryna touch this
[01:50.20]Lizzie McGuire is tight
[01:52.77]But I bet Zoey's tighter
[01:55.40]You can find me in her bed
[01:57.28]Digging through that vaginer
[01:59.29]Amanda Bynes, you a little bit crazy
[02:01.48]But you can still have my babies
[02:03.15]Whew !
[02:04.80]Go down like a dog with the rabies
[02:06.62]Y'all can't save me
[02:07.72]Uh, a little bit of ****, hard liquor for the ladies
[02:10.34]Got me feeling like a young Dan Schneider from the 80's
[02:12.64]With a Jewish law firm and an all black Mercedes
[02:14.94]She playing with the b***s like Brady (ay)
[02:17.30]**** off with the s*itty little kids with their stupid s*it
[02:19.83]I only wanna see the ones with a body fit
[02:21.89]And I don't want to be the one to be a little ***** about it
[02:24.80]But I'm just saying what everybody is thinking
[02:27.10]Where the t*****s at?
[02:28.99]Dan Schneider why you ruining your business?
[02:31.70]You realize I'd probably buy cable if you keep all the girls
[02:34.14]And the ratings all stable
[02:35.38]Cuz I ain't tryin to see a young baby in the cradle
[02:38.10]Cuz I'm not a pedophile
[02:41.33]I'm not trying to see that s*it (c'mon man)
[02:44.90]The girls I have ***ualized are all in their 20's and 30's
[02:48.59](Disclaimer!)
[02:49.35]I'm not saying you should change all the b*****s
[02:51.80]But at least something after 10:30 (30!)
[02:54.90]Dan Schneider
[02:56.42]Bring all my b*****s back
[02:58.50]I need all my b*****s
[02:59.63]I need all my b*****s
[03:00.64]I need all my b*****s back
[03:03.29]I love you Dan Schneider, just please bring them back